Today I have been so torn in this thing we call life. It is up and down and so inconsistant right now. Besides the fact that my house is driving me crazy... my relationships with friends and family are changing. I knew that moving back to Little Rock would be a HUGE change but I dont think I was prepared for it. I am trying not to be needy towards my friends and family here or towards my friends in Fayetteville. When I lived in Fayetteville I had constant companionship from my (former) boyfriend Parker and our two dogs, Lucy LuAnn and Annie Marie. Even though Annie now lives with me I still feel a bit empty. I have never lived in Little Rock and not lived with my parents... it is so weird! So now that I live all by myself in Little Rock I am constantly wanting friends to call me or come hang out with me... it is so pathetic and I feel so needy! It is just a hard adjustment not having Parker in my life, well atleast not as much as I would like him to be. Parker and I still talk a lot, but it gets confusing and I constantly want more because I miss him so much! Also, I think I am driving my parents crazy because I want them to hang out with me and go to dinner with me all the time! And my best friend Sarah is married and I know I am driving her husband crazy because I am trying to steal her away!!! Thank goodness that my other bestie Erica is single but her flaw is that she works too much so our hang out time is limited as well! So I am a lonely girl trying to cope with this change the best I can. I thought getting a job would help and it has... somewhat... besides the fact that im only working part time! I need to work more hours so I can fill up my day with productive hours instead of lonely hours!
So to all my followers, if you have my number feel free to call or text WHENEVER you want! If you do not have my number then talk to me through my blog! I would love to hear from you all... help brighten my lonely days and encourage me to embrace this change of life!
Ash
Monday, August 24, 2009
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Aww Ash!! I wish I lived closer and I would drive my single self over and we would hit every restaurant in AR!! Don't get too busy before I come visit :-) Love ya!!
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